Deep of soul.

I shall
make a decision this time.
The real one I think.

Success was never belong to me. Never.
Desperate? No. I will try and change. It's so called life!
And NOW I can't wait to go into my next journey with you guys. I feel great ! =)

Make my own decision

To figure out everything I should or shouldn't I think, maybe?
To figure out who am I and which way I'm going to.
The future. The 'Me'.
Who'll be with me? Unknown yet.
But I can say is that I'm so scared of being alone, honestly.
I don't want to be foreveralone. It's sucks!
But can someone helps me to find some ways?
Feeling of helpless was terrible enough. At least to me.

:( :( :( :(

Sometimes, I want/try to get through all of these by myself but somehow The Power was just not enough.
I still need help. And so when I need help, you guys came to save me.
Thanks for your help if you really did 'help' me once or more, in my lifetime. Maybe I forget? Kamsahamnida!
You guys always let me to feel that Yea I'm not alone right? Good thing ha!
I'm pretty sure that my circle of life is always not big as others, no much friends, no high-class materials and rich famous friends. But I enjoyed this life, at least my friends are calling me as BFF  :)
I'm also someone's BFF what.


But still,
sometimes, when you're far away of crowds,
we used to cover up our tears with those-smiley-fake-smile-masks. You asked What for? Well, then the answer should be : It's to make us stronger to realize everything.
We tend to escape of the real reason is because we scared to face it.
Because we're just human. We do have feelings. And fears.
Or maybe it's just an excuse to forgive us of avoiding problems I don't know.
When problems came, I want to run away from that, too. I've no idea how to handle. But I know I have to learn all of these.
So, uh, Yes, I'm still learning, dear.


Of course I'm always craving to find a "someone" that really understand what I am, what I think and what I want  when emo attacks. So do you I know, everyone needs.

* At times, I do imagine the gorgeous pretty girl is me in a movie I like.
 but when the movie ended, oh mama dreams come back to reality again. Yep, because we know it has to be.

* At times, I want to have someone can really listen to me, no matter what I said or nagged. The listen and keep. And I know I'll find you, just time!

* At times, I cried out loud in the late of night when I'm really down, when I feel like wanna die, when I'm completely desperate.  I don't need anyone to comfort. I need air I need space.

* At times, I do feel self-abased. But sometimes, I'm glad of what I've got.

* At times, I regretted of what I made wrong in the past and now I'm learning to make things right...

* At times, I kept my feeling. I don't want to move on or you can say I can't move on! I bet you've no idea how hard the 'Move On' is.

* At times, I want to forget all the past. I need a New Today.

* At times, I want to hug someone tightly! imagined all of my idols they whaooo.... and come back to reality, think again think again!

* At times, I just need friends to have a great movie or lunch and I think it's enough.

What life could bring? It's always depends on how we judge the world, the life.
So, I'm still go on! I'm still go on, with my spirit!
Join me?